Never been much of a "doer." I do things, yes, and I know things...I just never seem to plan something, especially with one of my friends, or my Life, and successfully complete it. So, I planned having my children. Success came quickly, I might add, tee-hee! Darby is 3 1/2 years, and Gabe is 2 1/3 years. I found something I was good at and just kept doing it! I loved being pregnant and I love being a mom. I was especially good at being pregnant...not so good at delivering tiny humans through the traditional methods, though. But I followed through! They certainly could not stay in there forever! Though a champion procrastinator, I could no longer prolong the surgical removal of my children. I tried labor and delivery, don't get me wrong. Twenty-one hours of drug-free agony, feeling at one with all women throughout history, a la Anita Diamant's "The Red Tent," only to find out my pelvic opening was too small for a baby. I don't want to be a complainer, but I have to say, that was not fun.
I want to do something, anything. I am a mom and I am so grateful for that. But I literally had to text my best friend, who just got her Doctorate in Pharmacy, that I am all talk and no action, when she asked me for the second year in a row, if I was going to run a charity 5k with her. How do I get these grandiose ideas of sending my girlfriend a "Congrats on the baby" by the 2nd birthday, or the "Happy Marriage", by the 3rd anniversary/second baby? Because I suck! Or I have let myself slide into the role of That Friend, or "Tired/Busy" Mom...Am I lazy? Rude? Forgetful? Overwhelmed???? Yes. All of the above. And, oh yes, lest we forget, Daugher of a BIPOLAR mom and BLAMEITONOTHERS dad. Can you say LIFETIME of FEAR OF FAILURE??????!!!!!! I detect some issues. Ironically, I can't think of a thing to write about.......
