Biting the Dust...

Um, Darby has her first loose tooth.  I am freaking out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I guess we are about to step off the ledge of toddlerhood.  I can do this, I can do this.

Dollhouse and the Wet Spot...

This isn't your dream house, but it is hers!

So Darby had her tonsils and adenoids removed about a week and a half ago.  It was our first foray into the unknowns of anesthesia for one of our babies.  Yikes!  CJ and I were giant stress balls for weeks before surgery, and only once we had her snuggled on our couch at home did we start to relax a bit.  She recovered quickly and was such a good sport throughout the whole deal.

You probably realize how much I adore being a mama if you've ever read this blog before but for clarification purposes I will say this:  My life became whole once I started growing that first baby in my belly!  That being said, there are limitless lengths we travel as parents to make our children happy, relaxed, comfortable, and untouched by anxiety.  Things we do without effort, and some we do grudgingly because we know how important it is to those little angels.

Like playing dollhouse.  Again.  With the extreme bossy-pants version of my 5-year-old on baby Lortab.  Partly because I know sooner than later, she won't be asking her mama to play with her.  But mostly because it makes her feel so loved and important.  It may take a little more effort sometimes, like on the fourth day without REM-sleep/you can barely stand your body hurts so much from the body-contortions making sure she has enough room in bed...!  We do it because we love our children.

And the wet spot?  Accidents happen, even when you have a waterproof pee pad on the bed.  And making sure she gets back to sleep sometimes means you're the one sleeping on the towel-covered wet spot.  Again.  Because we love our children.  And it's 1:45am.

So think how easy it is to really engage your children.  Get down on the floor with the robots and dollhouse, tune out the other household crises, even if it's only for a little while.  Too soon those toys will turn into coma-inducing video games and Facebook screens, and they won't have any time for you.

New Years, Old Tears!

Seems like I can't make it through a holiday without a few tears.  As New Year's Day comes to a close, we reminisce...blah, blah!  I would love it to seem like I'd been looking back through our trials and tribulations from 2011, but really, I started flipping through some photos of when the babes were still truly "babies."  This week, Gabe was awarded "Star of the Week" at preschool and we are supposed to send in a few pictures of him and his family, special toys to share with friends and a favorite story book to read for the class.  Along with these we (mama!) are supposed to fill out a cute little questionnaire about his hobbies, favorite movies, etc. 

So, we're making dinner (mini meatloaves that said kiddies actually helped make!), I'm flipping through these adorable pictures that really were from just three years ago and BAM!  Crocodile tears, sobs, dripping nose!  The whole nine yards!  Poor hubby was like, "I have no idea what to say to you!"  I'm saying, "They're so big!!"  He tells me that means we're doing our job right, but that doesn't make the pain in my chest loosen its grip.  I am horrified that I still have this hideous panic about my children not being babies anymore, that it is just as strong today as the weeks before I had to go back to the salon after my Darby was born! 

It doesn't matter that I know we probably won't have any more children.  I believe I will always be in denial that it's final.  As happy as I am with each day that passes raising my children to become big humans, I will never stop missing those precious beginnings with them.  Talk about a bittersweet start to the new year.  Here's to you, 2012!